The Weight of Love

It always confuses me when people think that love won’t cost them anything. To be willing to fight for those you call brothers, to stand for truth, to pay the cost and discomfort of love—this is what love truly demands. Jesus showed us clearly that love will cost you everything.

Countless times I’ve seen relationships break down simply because comfort was threatened. Whether that’s standing up for your brother at a BBQ when lies are being spoken, or going into battle with him when he’s lost the ability to fight for himself—it seems this generation has chosen against that kind of love. Instead, we’ve perfected the art of “turning away.”

But to turn away, I believe, you must first sear the conscience. You must deny the prompting of God. The Bible clearly states that if you turn away from a brother in a time of need and have the means to do something about it, how can the love of Christ be in you?

It’s tough to love. It’s uncomfortable. But this is what we’re called to. This is how we’re formed. And this is where the riches of true relationship are found. We speak as if we’ve cultivated brotherly love and loyalty, but we hesitate to act in it because we fear what it might cost us personally. That kind of love has no roots.

Love is not a vibe—it’s a vow. And if it doesn’t cost you something, it’s not love.

Our culture loves convenience. We want affection without responsibility. We want connection without the cross. But the truth is, love is not found in the ease of emotion—it’s found in the discipline of devotion.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” — John 15:13

“A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.” — C.S. Lewis

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” — C.S. Lewis

“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” — 1 John 3:18

When a man loves well, he gives something up. Pride. Comfort. Time. Independence. He steps out of self-centeredness and into service. And this is the weight of love: it teaches you to carry what doesn’t benefit you directly, but blesses someone else completely.

Every real relationship involves friction. But the presence of difficulty is not the absence of love—it’s the proving ground of it. Are you willing to stay when it gets tough? Are you willing to forgive when your ego is bruised? Love is not proven in what you say, but in what you sacrifice.

Love is not soft. It’s strong. It stays through storms. It chooses faithfulness over feelings. It covers, lifts, and sometimes breaks to build. And when a man loves this way, it isn’t weakness—it’s spiritual authority.

If you want to love like Christ, you must be willing to bleed. Not always physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually. This is the weight of love. And it’s how men build marriages, families, and legacies that last.

Reflection Questions:

• Have you mistaken feelings for faithfulness?

• Where is love costing you something right now?

• Are you running from discomfort or leaning into the growth love demands?