Covenant Over Convenience

I’ve been married for more than 12 years at the writing of this. We’ve had ups—and some serious downs. But one of the proudest things in my whole world is how my marriage has weathered the storms and seasons, no matter what. We’ve chosen truth and character over ease and advantage. We’ve chosen to live a life that’s eternally focused.

I have a wife who holds the line—who is prepared to go without for the sake of others, and for the sake of obeying what the Lord is asking us to do. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s extremely hard. But what it does build is perseverance, resilience, and ultimately pure joy.

Sometimes we distort the meaning of covenant to mean we’re the only people that matter—as if it’s us against the world. But that’s not covenant. True covenant is complete devotion to one another, yes—but in my opinion, it’s best outworked in the agreement that your life is not your own. That together, we choose to be selfless—internally and externally.

Marriage is not a contract. It’s a covenant. It’s not built on comfort, but on commitment. And when the storms come—not if, but when—it’s the man who chooses to stand that builds something sacred.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate.” — Mark 10:9

“A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” — Ruth Bell Graham

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear—but to be fully known and truly loved is a lot like being loved by God.” — Tim Keller

“Love is not merely a feeling; it is a decision, a commitment, and a promise to stay.” — Unknown

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25

We’ve bought into the cultural lie that love is a feeling. That passion fades. That distance is normal. But God’s design is different. His picture of marriage is not two people who co-exist—it’s a man and woman who cover one another, forgiveone another, lead one another, and serve one another.

There will be days when love doesn’t feel romantic. When forgiveness feels unfair. When silence feels safer than honesty. These are not signs to walk away. They are invitations to lean in.

As a man, your job isn’t to be perfect. Your job is to lead in love. That means apologizing first. Pursuing again. Praying over your wife when you don’t know what else to do. Being a rock when the house feels like it’s sinking.

Jesus didn’t love the church because she was perfect. He loved her into perfection. And that’s the model we follow. You’re not called to dominate—you’re called to lay yourself down.

Marriage is warfare. But the enemy is not your spouse. It’s the lie that quitting is easier. The lie that intimacy can exist without vulnerability. The lie that leadership is about power instead of presence.

Hold the line. Rebuild the trust. Lay down your life again.

Reflection Questions:

• Where have you allowed convenience to replace covenant?

• Are you leading your wife with strength and tenderness?

• What does fighting for your marriage look like this week?